Living Well in the Garden State: Once Upon a Mattress

Posted December 19, 2007 by Ashley V. Neglia

“Life can get in the way of anything you don’t make a priority,” says Susan Manahan, a sex therapist for the Institute for Personal Growth in Highland Park. To make your lovemaking a priority, consider Manahan’s advice:

How many erogenous zones does your partner have? If you’re thinking two or three, you’re way off. Try seven to ten. Communicate through sensual touch and build a road map to each other’s pleasure centers. If that doesn’t get you going...

The Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides can help people who are shy or not confident in their performance. Chapters range from genital anatomy to how to give the best oral sex. For further inspiration...

Visit an adult boutique with your partner and pick out three sex toys. Whether it’s edible underwear or something more daring, toys put a couple in a situation where they have to talk about their bedroom desires. If you can’t stop giggling...

Write an X-rated script as a nonthreatening way to fulfill fantasies. Share it with your partner. Indirectly you’ll be telling him or her what you want. Not a writer?

Find out what kind of costume or character your partner thinks is sexy and role play. Instead of a G-string, he or she may want to see you in a flannel shirt and construction boots. If that doesn’t do it...

More couples are experimenting with BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadomasochism). If you decide to try it, agree in advance on the rules and choose other words to mean don’t or stop so role-playing doesn’t get confusing.

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