The 50,000-Mile Diet

I'm in Kauai now, on my honeymoon. I am looking over the Pacific Ocean at sunrise (note: husband asleep in bed). Really. Whales are swimming past. It's all that and a bag of taro chips.

But what's on my mind right now is the $6.25 I just paid for my coffee (view included), and some of the things I learned about not paying an arm and a leg for bad food while you travel. For you, here are five things I've learned about eating well on the road while clocking 50,000 miles in travel this year:

1. The Snack Bag: Bring it. You never know when your next meal is going to be, or how ravenous and unpleasant your travel partners might become. Just as you'd never leave the house with a toddler without some raisins and Cheerios, don't travel without a snack bag. And yes, this goes for car rides as well; no one should attempt to leave the state of NJ (and that includes a "quick" trip to Manhattan) without snacks in the glove compartment.

Some ideal snacks:
-- Jerky. Don't sneer; love it. There's a reason ranchers could venture as far from base camp as they did. (Note: Avoid the "Sasquatch" brand of Slim Jim knockoffs. It's like sucking a stick of smoked fat).
--Those little containers of hummus and flat pretzels are awesome; great protein to keep you sated, and a little crunch.
-- GORP (Good Old Raisins and Peanuts); just avoid the melty chocolate bits unless they're coated; what a mess on a hot day.
-- Special K bars work, as do clementines and apples.
--Make a sandwich for the plane; do not spend $8.99 on a "snack pack" of questionable cheese, crackers, and vacuum-sealed packages of olives. I've rarely found a food in a snack pack I'd want to eat again. In fact, the best food I've found on a plane in the last three years is Delta's Biscoff cookies...and they give them away for free!

2. Eat, and Eat Well on the Plane: Here's the upside of all the airport security chaos: there are now really terrific places to eat in the airports. LaGuardia has wonderful grab-and-go places by Wolfgang Puck, where you can trade your first born for a delicious pint of Israeli couscous and a bottle of Fiji water. Chicago has fabulous sushi, and tortas, salads and bottomless beverages by Rick Bayless, Albequerque has wonderful locally-roasted coffee and tacos, and Las Vegas has sandwiches by David Burke. Austin, TX and Charlotte, NC have terrific bar-b-que spots their airports. I could go on, but you get my point: there is fabulous food to be found at the airport: Pack it up and take it on the plane. And when your seat mates look cross-eyed at you while picking through the antiquated dried fruit in their snack pack, do not offer them a bite. If they were too snobby to try the airport sushi, that's their own dang fault.

Clean out your fridge: Take the last of that Chanukah brisket and make sandwiches; bring that stollen the neighbor shared, and enjoy it with an overpriced Starbucks at the airport. Although we've been scared out of bringing liquids to the airport, airport security cannot take away your hoagie. And as for the overpriced liquids: bring an empty bottle and fill it up at the water fountain after you pass through.

3. Pick Up Some Groceries: If you're staying for more than 4 days, hit a Target or a Super Walmart or any local grocery store, and get some food. This is the time you want to pick up vegetables like snow peas or a crudite platter so you're sure to eat some vegetables while you're on the road. This is also the time to pack your Snack Pack (#1, above), so grab that Chex Mix too.

Oh, and by groceries, I also mean booze. If one thing I've learned in Essex County is that there's no shame in bringing your own flask to a restaurant, and mixing your own cocktails to enjoy with the meal. Sure, hotels will offer you Mai Tai's for $22, but that doesn't mean you can't pre-game on your hotel balcony with some wine, beer, or spirits that you picked up when you got here. If you're paying more for your drinks than you are for your dinner, follow me on this one.


4. Sit Down For Two Meals, No More: I know, in reality we like to eat three meals a day. But when you're traveling, and eating a lot at every meal, try to sit down no more than twice per day. Couple that massive breakfast buffet at the Bellagio with a light lunch and one other meal. If you're sitting to eat three times a day, chances are you're eating, and paying, too much.

Of course if you're a food writer (with an expense account), scratch this. Most food people (on assignment) eat at at least two different establishments per meal. Six total. Some people sightsee, ski or hike; food people eat.

5. Go Local: That shady taco stand? Have a seat. That long line of locals in front of the broken-down looking shaved ice place? Get on it. If you walk into a diner that's packed with people who seem to know each other, call the waitress by her first name, and sneer when you walk in, that's exactly where you want to go.

Don't expect the locals to be friendly. You just found their favorite spot, and a schmeggege like you might just Tweet about it and ruin it forever. They live here, you're just visiting, have some respect.

Now I of course would never do that, but if you find yourself up early and on the road to Waimea Canyon in Kauai, and are considering the bright shiny McDonalds, which seems to be the only thing open at 6:30AM, go a little bit further to the restaurant, which I will not name, but it's what you do to coffee beans and it rhymes with "find". That's the kind of place where you'll get a sneer, and delicious local food. Enjoy them both: you've found the local hang!

And if you're really traveling, going off the grid and far away from the buffet at the all-inclusive resort, and are considering whether or not you should eat the snails straight out of the steamer on the back of someone's bike, yes of course you should. Eat all the local weird stuff you can, because when are you going to see a dude with snails on his bike again? After all, that's why god created antacids and penicillin.

Allison Fishman is the host of Yahoo's Blue Ribbon Hunter and author of You Can Trust A Skinny Cook. For delicious humor & recipes, visit allisonfishman.com or follow @allisonfishman on Twitter.