Home Brewing 101

There’s nothing quite like drinking the fruits of your own labor—or is there?

I wasn’t surprised when my husband pitched the idea of brewing our own beer—the first piece of furniture he bought for our apartment in grad school was a kegerator. Never one to settle for Miller Lite, “It’ll be cheaper this way,” he said in attempt to justify the eyesore in our living room. Using the same argument for home-brewing, he placed the True Brew Starter Equipment Kit ($62) from the Brewer’s Apprentice at the top of his Christmas list.

After Santa good-naturedly said, “Sure, why not?”, we headed to the homebrew supply shop in Freehold to pick out our first recipe. We decided to try the County Cork stout ($39)—as our first batch would be ready just in time for St. Patrick’s Day.

The ingredients came with step-by-step instructions, which I likened to a cupcake recipe. I present you with my version:

Making Wort:

1. Bring five gallons of water to the 160-to-170-degree range. Sanitize equipment. (This step requires three people. One to watch the thermometer and one to hold the cumbersome siphon tubing above the sink while the third person sanitizes it.)

2. Steep crushed grains in a grain sack for 30 minutes. (This sack resembles a giant teabag and will cause your kitchen to smell like tea, too.)

3. Remove bag. Raise temperature.

4. When temperature approaches 200 degrees, add extracts and sugars. Stir, and wait for pot to reach boil. In bold, “Never leave pot from this point on.” (You know what they say about a watched pot? It’s true.)

5. When the mixture reaches a boil, turn heat off and add bittering hops. Return to a heavy, rolling boil for 60 minutes and stir frequently.

6. When there is 15 minutes remaining, turn off heat and add finishing hops. Return to a light boil.

7. After 15 minutes elapse, remove from heat.

8. Chill wort to 70-90 degrees. (For optimum taste, do this as quickly as possible. Banish family members from the bathroom for an hour. Fill the tub with ice. If large amounts of ice are not available, fill the tub with cold water. In ten minutes, drain water and replace with fresh cold water. Repeat until wort reaches desired temperature.)

9. Pour wort into fermenter and pitch yeast. (FYI: In cooking language, pitch does not mean “throw out.”)

10. Find storage place for fermenter where wort can maintain 60-degree temperature and have no exposure to light. (Hint: Take all linens out of closet and replace with fermenter tank.)

Fermentation:

1. Allow wort to ferment for two weeks (a.k.a. Wait).

2. Toward the end of the second week, check the specific gravity daily. (Call high school science teacher for translation.)

3. When specific gravity is the same for three consecutive days, bottle the wort.

Bottling:

1. Sanitize bottling equipment with diluted bleach water in clothes you hate, donning heavy-duty goggles. (Failure to follow this step will result in a “beer-making hoodie” and one less contact lens.)

2. Transfer wort from fermenter to bottling bucket.

3. Add dextrose (fancy word for sugar) to bottles using bottle siphon.

4. Cap bottles.

Bottle Priming:

1. Allow wort to ferment in bottles for two to four weeks in dark, dry climate. (Back to the linen closet.)

So is home brewing cheaper than buying your favorite case of craft brew? The answer is probably in the eye of the beholder. But for my husband, pouring that first glass of his very own dark-brown Irish stout, which he raves “has a smooth texture and a nice even flavor,” was priceless. It smells good to me, but I’m more of a light-to-medium bodied beer gal. The question now is not whether we’ll do it again, it’s whether to try the Apricot Ale #9 ($50) or the Cherry Poppin’ Belgian Ale ($53).

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