Picture, if you will, a classic holiday-party scene from the hit show Mad Men. “We have gifts, girls and games,” whispers Queen Bee Joan into the ear of some big shot in a suit. Execs and secretaries naughtily pass an orange from one eager neck to another. Tipsy merrymakers snake their way through the office in a conga line, hands planted on the wiggling hips in front of them. And some guy is making out with an underling in a cookie-strewn conference room.
Sure, that was TV. But it’s wild to look back on what was, at one time, considered acceptable—and how different holiday office parties are today, if they’re even happening at all.
Lisa Miller has had a ringside seat to the changing party scene since she started her Glen Ridge-based catering business 30 years ago. She doesn’t have to look farther than her own basement, however, to see just how sedate things have gotten for some New Jersey workers.
“My daughter lives with us and has a remote job. She never sees any of her colleagues,” says Miller. “When her company has its holiday party, they send DoorDash gift cards so employees can order food and then sit around looking at each other on Zoom. Virtual parties were understandable during Covid. But now? It’s pretty sad.”
Not all employers have scaled back holiday merrymaking to sofa celebrations. In fact, 64 percent of employers had in-person gatherings in 2023, according to a survey from Challenger, Gray & Christmas, a career-transition firm. That’s dramatically up from peak Covid years and just about 10 percent less than before the pandemic.
But there’s no question that year-end parties aren’t what they once were, and the rise of hybrid and remote jobs since Covid isn’t the only reason.
For starters, corporate belt tightening has made employers more mindful about holiday-party planning, says Michele Siekerka, president and CEO of the New Jersey Business and Industry Association.
So have fundamental changes in our culture.
“The whole perception of what’s considered appropriate behavior at a work-related event has been changing over the past two decades. Norms changed even more so with #MeToo,” says Siekerka.
Beefed up anti-workplace-harassment laws passed under Governor Phil Murphy—which extend to sponsored social events on- and off-site—have made employers wary as well. “Office parties used to be about giving employees a chance to let down their hair. Increasingly, though, employers want to avoid creating environments where employees might go off the rails,” says Siekerka.
More often than not, alcohol is what makes revelers go off the rails at employer-sponsored events. And free-flowing booze has historically gone hand-in-glove with year-end festivities.
“I used to call it March Madness when all the post-holiday-party lawsuits began,” says Mark F. Kluger, partner at Kluger Healey, a management-side employment law firm based in Lincroft. “That’s how long it took for these cases, 95 percent of which also involved sexual harassment, to make their way to court.”
Kluger recalls a company that bused in teams from its Philly and Boston offices to New Jersey for its annual holiday bash. “I got a frantic call one year from HR saying that, on the way back from the party, an intoxicated senior manager had the Philly-bound bus diverted to a strip club. The client didn’t end up getting sued, but a lot of apologies were made.”
Big, alcohol-infused blowouts have backfired in other ways. Attorney Paul H. Mazer, a partner at Genova Burns LLC in Newark, remembers a situation where employees got so blitzed at their office holiday party that one tumbled down a set of stairs, sprained her ankle, and landed in the bushes. Another slammed her car into a tree. “The employees literally weren’t able to get themselves to work because they either needed medical attention or didn’t have transportation,” Mazer says.
Years ago, such situations might have been kept on the down-low or forgotten by witnesses in their hangover haze. But cell phones and social media have changed that game.
With a flick of a finger, phones can now capture and share every indecorous and embarrassing moment, from senior staffers gulping vodka shots from an ice luge, to a karaoke-singing data analyst face-planting from a tabletop, to a manager’s groping hand caught in the background of an innocuous group picture.
Images like these aren’t just a bad look if they go viral or land in a board member’s inbox. They can be evidence if, for instance, that groped employee or injured data analyst decides to sue.
In essence, “The concept of, ‘Whatever happens at the company holiday party, stays at the holiday party,’ is just no longer a thing,” says Jason Jani of SCE Event Group, a DJ-focused production company based in Wall.
Or, as Kluger puts it to his clients, “If you don’t want something played to your mother or a jury, you better be careful what you say or do.”
Considering the liabilities, it’s a wonder most employers don’t just bah-humbug the holiday party and redirect funds to employee bonuses. A 2023 FinanceBuzz survey of 1,000 workers revealed that 60 percent of them would, in fact, prefer it.
But that would be a loss, says Robert Kovach, Ph.D., a business psychologist and management consultant.
“The workplace has changed as our culture has changed. With Covid, how and where people work has changed as well,” he says. “What hasn’t changed is that coworkers need to relate to each other, both in an official way and unofficially. Just like we come together with family and friends during the holidays, the end of the year, no matter what the culture, is a great time to come together as colleagues.”
The key, of course, is reimagining what these gatherings should be. When legal clients turn to Kluger for advice, his answer has always been the same: Stop with the alcohol and find some other way to have fun. “They’d laugh. And never listen,” says Kluger. “Until #MeToo.”
Many employers—nearly 60 percent according to a 2023 Challenger, Gray & Christmas survey—are hosting celebrations during the workday, with limited, if any, alcohol on offer. Others are nixing company-wide events and instead footing the bill for more intimate department dinners, says Miller, the Glen Ridge caterer.
Still others are turning away from the P-word altogether, preferring to see their year-end gatherings as team-building opportunities. Topgolf, escape rooms, hatchet-throwing venues—where guests might each get a drink ticket or two—are all popular Jersey go-tos. “Or they volunteer at a local soup kitchen during the workday and go afterwards for a nice lunch,” Siekerka says.
Of course, there are still companies that haven’t given up on dinner and dancing. But even when alcohol is served, the vibe is different, says Jani. “People aren’t partying as hard. Everyone’s aware that anything can show up on social media,” Jani says.
Plus, with remote work, people are typically not as close with their coworkers as they once were. “So many of the employees just don’t know each other very well,” Jani adds. “We use our ninja skills to get people to loosen up, dance, and engage with each other, but you can’t push it.”
Employers are lucky if they can get their staff to attend at all. A LinkedIn survey of 6,000 people found that more than half planned to skip their office holiday parties in 2023.
Danielle Rothweiler of Rothweiler Event Design in Verona had a client who insisted on having a huge, 1980s-themed holiday bash in 2021. Despite her warnings, they invited 150 employees without significant others. “Only 50 people responded with a definite maybe. They ultimately canceled because there wasn’t enough interest.”
So how can New Jerseyans bring holiday mirth back to work?
“I have two messages,” says Kovach. “I’d ask employers to consider what kind of culture they are setting, where they have workers who don’t want to come meet each other. And what work do they need to do prior to make it a success, including asking their employees what kind of gathering they might want.”
As for party-dreading employees, Kovach encourages them to get off the couch. “Research shows that if you have a best friend at work, you’ll be happier. So, if your employer is willing to host an event and even fly or train you out for it, see it as an opportunity. If nothing else, if you make one friend, you’ll be better off than you’d be if you were sitting at home.”
OFFICE PARTY TIMELINE: ACESSS TO EXCESS
Santa wouldn’t have known what hit him if he walked into one of these wild holiday parties that took place in the past. Read on to see who was naughty or nice.
2000
SINFULLY INDULGENT
It’s hard to imagine that Mike Bloomberg gave the green light in 2000 for a $1.5 million dollar holiday blowout themed around the seven deadly sins. The London bacchanal included massage booths, manicure stations, a casino, drag queens, and a “gluttony” bar where revelers rifled through a trough brimming with truffles and candy. It’s reported there was a “lust room,” too.
2004
PAID GUESTS AND PUPPY FIGHTS
In her suit against testosterone-fueled work practices at investment house Goldman Sachs, a female executive claimed that a sales-team Christmas party featured female escorts dressed in “short black skirts, strapless tops, and Santa hats.” Meanwhile, at a 2004 holiday party in London, a fight allegedly broke out between two bankers, one of whom was dressed as a Dalmatian.
2006
CLASSIC OVERINDULGENCE
A guest list of 10,000. Actors dressed as Greek gods and trained to converse with party-goers in character. Extravagant decorations that took an army of designers, builders and artists a full week to set up on San Francisco’s Pier 48. An entire room devoted to wigs for guests. That was Googlympus, Google’s over-the-top holiday bash in 2006. If you don’t believe it, Google it!
2007
TWIST AND SQUIRM
As if having superstars Jay-Z and Dave Matthews headline MTV’s $1 million Christmas blitz wasn’t enough, the music-video network upped the ante in a huge way at its 2007 holiday blowout in New York with a life-size snow-globe centerpiece, inside which male and female models played rollicking games of Twister.
2010
A STADIUM FULL OF EXCESS
Web domain powerhouse GoDaddy rented out Chase Field, home to the Arizona Diamondbacks, for its 2010 holiday fete. About 5,000 guests attended the $4 million extravaganza, where entertainment headliners included Jewel and ZZ Top. A Ferris wheel, bumper cars, and merry-go-round added to the merriment. Fireworks lit up the night, and the company gave away $1 million.
2011
EXECS BEHAVING BADLY
After a holiday charity event, a Morgan Stanley exec grabbed a cab then allegedly disputed the cost of his fare, hurled racial slurs at his Middle Eastern driver, and then stabbed the driver in the hand with a pen knife. Morgan Stanley subsequently fired the guy and tried to claw back more than $5 million in bonus money, although charges against the executive were dropped.
Peg Rosen lives in Montclair and contributes to numerous media outlets. She can’t remember the last time she was invited to an office party.
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