John Adams, our nation’s first Vice President, once described the position as, “the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived.” The job, much like the state of New Jersey, has gotten a lot of flack over the years. Who better, then, to serve in the second highest office in the land then someone who knows how to take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’?
Donald Trump may not be participating in tonight’s GOP debate, but still holds a dominating lead in the polls. If he does secure the nomination, he’s going to need a right hand man (or woman!). Here are our ideas for the perfect running mate — from New Jersey, of course.
Teresa Giudice
Photo courtesy of Bravo
Probably shouldn’t bring her on any diplomacy missions; flipping tables tends to end peace talks.
American Pharaoh
Photo by Holly Tonini
Trump doesn’t like to associate with “losers.” You can’t do much better than this Triple Crown winner.
Shaquille O’Neal
Photo courtesy of TNT
The Newark-born basketball star is HUGE. We mean really, really H-U-G-E! (He also has a Doctor of Education, which could prove useful when crafting school policies.)
Bill Maher
Photo courtesy of HBO/Janet Van Ham
Let’s Make America Great Again by returning to our nation’s roots. In early elections, the runner up was named Vice President. That’s how Democratic Republican Thomas Jefferson wound up second in command to Federalist John Adams. Their diverging views didn’t exactly bare fruits, but maybe pairing hyper-liberal Maher with conservative Trump will wind up with something in the middle.
Atlantic City Mayor Don Guardian
Photo courtesy of AP Images.
His entire city is facing bankruptcy. City officials recently supported a plan to allow the state to take over. It makes Trump’s casino failures look like small change.
Lieutenant Governor Kim Guadagno
Photo: Frank Veronsky/Choose New Jersey
No one in America is more experienced at filling in for an absent chief executive.
Astronaut Scott Kelly
Photo: Courtesy of Nasa/ Roscosmos/Gagarin Cosmonaut Training Center
Someone needs to tell Trump when his policies are out of this world. Who better than the guy who holds the record for the longest space flight by an American?
Grover Cleveland
Illustration by Michael Witte
We think America’s only split-term president is ready for another comeback. Okay, so he’s been dead for 107 years. Let’s not confuse the Donald with facts.
Buddy “Cake Boss” Valastro
Courtesy of TLC.
Let them eat cake! Because every party needs a great cake.
Chris Christie
Because New Jersey doesn’t need another former civil servant on its unemployment rolls.
What Jersey celebrity do you think would make a great Vice President? Let us know in the comments!